D@*n Parents! Why can't there be a licensing requirement prior to having kids?
Ok, this is a radical concept! People should all be temporarily sterilized and then, when they 1) get married and 2) are financially stable, they decide that they want kids....they have to take a test and prove that they can capably parent (ok, so no one is born capable) but they should at least be able to prove that they are mentally and emotionally stable so that they won't a) physically or b) mentally or c) emotionally abuse their kids. If they can't pass the test, no kids!! I have seen too many kids who had no parent(s) because one of the parents was either in prison, deported, or dead or disappeared. Even when they had a parent, that parent was too focused on the "good" kid and ignored the kid who wasn't perfect and perhaps needed some more attention to be a good kid.
Why the rant? Because I represent a kid...a good kid in most senses of the word, in that he is very personable, bright, etc. His issues: he was sexually abused by a family member when he was very young and is having issues with that (imagine that! Who wouldn't??). In order to compensate, he smokes marijuana. This affects his school work (I'm stunned!). He is also a behavioral problem because he is very angry about the abuse he suffered (again, I'm stunned! I would be too.). Finally, his mother has decided that he is NOT a good kid and she is tired of missing work and otherwise having to "parent him" so she informed him that she was, in essence, not going to be his mother any more. She said that she was giving up on him. She told him this when he was sitting in detention. I have no idea that he has been told this until I go into court and hear it from the Probation officer (who is equally broken up about this) and I have a hard time maintaining composure. The kid has locked his emotions inside for the moment.
Later, I find out that he has carved the words "Stoner" into the skin of his chest rather than deal with his emotions. Over the next six days, he tried to commit suicide three times in detention. He ends up committed to a juvenile behavioral health facility for eight days and then assigned to a temporary facility while the "powers that be" try to figure out what is best for him. Meanwhile, one hand fights the other as they try to find something to help him.
God help him because I don't think the system is going to!
ADDENDUM: Dated 9-21-11
So, we had a court hearing yesterday because the kid, who had run from a group home after being released from a locked mental health facility, was arrested. I was informed that "there were problems" with the kid and that I needed to see the bailiff prior to the hearing. I spoke to the bailiff who told me that my kid had attempted suicide in detention twice since last night and tried to escape 3 times. He was currently so combative that it was going to take THREE deputies to bring him into the court room. It took some 20 minutes to get him into the court room and when he came in...I almost didn't recognize him. His hair had grown out (and he was so careful about his appearance). He was shackled like an animal and he was shaking and talking to himself angrily. I was almost in tears at the sight of him. He was clearly not even competent. I attempted to talk to him but it was very difficult. I managed to learn that he was terrified of staying in detention and was able to tell the judge that he wanted to go back to the locked mental health facility. The judge was great with him and we managed to reassure him that we all cared about him and that he was going to get help. We got him released to the locked facility about 20 minutes later.
The next morning, I find out that he ran from the locked down mental health facility and his whereabouts are unknown....
I pray that he doesn't do something drastic like kill himself but I am very afraid that he might...God help you JLW!
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