Plea for Families!

Why can't we love our children and raise them the way they should be raised??













    Ok, I am taking a break (sort of) from my blogging about my cases and adventures in court.  I have been dealing with the death of my mother and going through her stuff in the house I grew up in.  I realize (or I should say "re-realize") what a wonderful mother she was!  She saved EVERYTHING that her children EVER gave her and then she also saved EVERYTHING her grandchildren EVER gave her!  Even my kids looked at some of the scribbles and wondered why Grandma would save that.  My answer was invariably "because you gave it to her and she treasured it."  I remember the times that I was not getting along with her as a hormonal teenage girl and I would complain to my friends about her.  My friends, without exception, would roll their eyes and tell me that they would kill to have a mom like mine and I should be glad I had her as my mom (and I was VERY MUCH SO).  I remember joking with my parents (back more than 20...um...or so...years ago) that they had "ruined my life" because they were 1) still married to each other; and 2) very happily so.  Little did I realize how prophetic that joke would be....

    Now, being married to the father of your child(ren) is rare.  Being married to the father of your children for an extended period of time is rarer.  Being happily married to that same person is even more rare.  That is plain PATHETIC!!!  However, that is the reason that I will probably always have a contract at Juvenile Court!  Women and men randomly have sex and don't even consider whether or not a child will result from that some seven minutes of fun.  Nor do they consider whether or not they even WANT to have a child with that person nor whether or not that person is someone worthy that the child who will ultimately look up to as a role model is worthy of that respect.  And those.....are the people who are peopling this planet!  These are the people who are "raising" (and I use that term VERY LOOSELY) the next generation.  They are creating a vicious circle of people who are raised without love and no basis in the basic human values and those people who then go out and make bad decisions about having kids....and so on....

   I was privileged to be raised by two wonderful people who weren't perfect but they instilled the appropriate human values and loved me despite my hormonal teenage rants.  I will miss my parents (more than I can say and the pain of this second loss is excruciating) but I was very blessed.  I wish everyone was equally as blessed but sadly...not so much!  

Spinning your wheels....or the unwinnable trial

   You know that there is such a thing as "the Perfect Storm"?  We all know the phrase concerning "lightning striking twice" but this picture should depict the trial I'm currently in...

It is a severance trial which means that the State is trying to permanently take away someone's parental rights, which they have to do by proving one of their alleged grounds by "clear and convincing evidence" and then by proving "by a preponderance of the evidence" that it is in the child's best interests.  This case starts out with a father who has a drug problem.  However, to his credit, he engages in services (which the mother does not) and he does so well that the State is very close to returning his daughter to him permanently.  Then, inexplicably, he tests positive for PCP (who does that now days?).  Then he gets arrested for beating up his girlfriend....again.  Now, we are on the severance track.  He tests positive for alcohol on at least three occasions and it is not looking good.  

At the trial, when the State calls him as a witness, he testifies that 1) he snorted bath salts with the intent of getting high (I KNOW, who ever thought that snorting bath salts would get one high) on two occasions and that 2) he NEVER knew he wasn't supposed to drink and 3) his case worker hates him.  I'll give him credit for his case worker hating him (she is an unpleasant person and I'm not sure I like her either)...but really, what the h*#! am I supposed to do with the bath salts issue and the alcohol.  Laughably, the bath salts, which preliminarily tested positive for PCP, didn't end up having PCP in them...but really, he still admitted to snorting something STUPID with the intent to get high.

How, exactly am I going to defuse this and pull off a win?  Answer:  I'm not.  I am between the lightning and the tornado with nowhere to go....(sigh, not a fun position)

Kids need to understand that it ISN'T their fault!!!

D@*n Parents!  Why can't there be a licensing requirement prior to having kids?

Ok, this is a radical concept!  People should all be temporarily sterilized and then, when they 1) get married and 2) are financially stable, they decide that they want kids....they have to take a test and prove that they can capably parent (ok, so no one is born capable) but they should at least be able to prove that they are mentally and emotionally stable so that they won't a) physically or b) mentally or c) emotionally abuse their kids.  If they can't pass the test, no kids!!  I have seen too many kids who had no parent(s) because one of the parents was either in prison, deported, or dead or disappeared.  Even when they had a parent, that parent was too focused on the "good" kid and ignored the kid who wasn't perfect and perhaps needed some more attention to be a good kid.

Why the rant?  Because I represent a kid...a good kid in most senses of the word, in that he is very personable, bright, etc.  His issues:  he was sexually abused by a family member when he was very young and is having issues with that (imagine that!  Who wouldn't??). In  order to compensate, he smokes marijuana.  This affects his school work (I'm stunned!). He is also a behavioral problem because he is very angry about the abuse he suffered (again, I'm stunned!  I would be too.).  Finally, his mother has decided that he is NOT a good kid and she is tired of missing work and otherwise having to "parent him" so she informed him that she was, in essence, not going to be his mother any more.  She said that she was giving up on him.  She told him this when he was sitting in detention.  I have no idea that he has been told this until I go into court and hear it from the Probation officer (who is equally broken up about this) and I have a hard time maintaining composure.  The kid has locked his emotions inside for the moment.

Later, I find out that he has carved the words "Stoner" into the skin of his chest rather than deal with his emotions.  Over the next six days, he tried to commit suicide three times in detention.  He ends up committed to a juvenile behavioral health facility for eight days and then assigned to a temporary facility while the "powers that be" try to figure out what is best for him.  Meanwhile, one hand fights the other as they try to find something to help him.

God help him because I don't think the system is going to!

ADDENDUM:  Dated 9-21-11

So, we had a court hearing yesterday because the kid, who had run from a group home after being released from a locked mental health facility, was arrested.  I was informed that "there were problems" with the kid and that I needed to see the bailiff prior to the hearing.  I spoke to the bailiff who told me that my kid had attempted suicide in detention twice since last night and tried to escape 3 times.  He was currently so combative that it was going to take THREE deputies to bring him into the court room.  It took some 20 minutes to get him into the court room and when he came in...I almost didn't recognize him.  His hair had grown out (and he was so careful about his appearance).  He was shackled like an animal and he was shaking and talking to himself angrily.  I was almost in tears at the sight of him.  He was clearly not even competent.  I attempted to talk to him but it was very difficult.  I managed to learn that he was terrified of staying in detention and was able to tell the judge that he wanted to go back to the locked mental health facility.  The judge was great with him and we managed to reassure him that we all cared about him and that he was going to get help.  We got him released to the locked facility about 20 minutes later.

The next morning, I find out that he ran from the locked down mental health facility and his whereabouts are unknown.... 

I pray that he doesn't do something drastic like kill himself but I am very afraid that he might...God help you JLW!

Intergenerational Abuse...or an argument for Birth Control...

Is Rehabilitation Possible?
         NO!






This one may upset some people because as a defense attorney, I should be able to set my opinions aside and do my job without letting personal feelings get in the way.  Others may be upset that I even HAVE to defend these kinds of people or that they have rights.  So, what you ask, was this case about?  Child sexual abuse.  I know....eeew, gross, bleh!  Well, I didn't have to defend the abuser but the woman who has married and/or dated two different sexual predators and each time, apparently chose to believe the abuser rather than the child.

The story starts a generation ago when the woman had a daughter who at age 16 was abused by her then husband.  The daughter reported and CPS got involved (in a different state).  After several comments about her apparent inability to conceive of her husband / boyfriend doing such a thing, she apparently agreed to have him move out and they eventually allowed the 16 year old to move home with "Mom's" promise to take her to counseling, go to counseling herself, etc.  Needless to say, daughter didn't go to counseling, Mom didn't go to counseling, and kid didn't even go to school.  CPS tries to "convince" Mom that she is subject to court orders and has to do what she agreed to do.  Kid tells CPS that Mom is planning to move to another state to "follow" the abusing husband / boyfriend....and they do.

Fast forward to the daughter having kids (4 of them) and then getting involved with CPS due to substance abuse and other issues (hmmm, could it be because her own abuse issues were never addressed?).  After a lengthy case, somehow, the Court here gives G-ma (the one who never got her daughter appropriate treatment and followed the abuser to a different state) guardianship of the four grandkids!!!  I know, how the #!*! did that happen?

Well, abused daughter marries, gets a job and addresses her substance abuse.  She decides that she wants to get back into her kids' lives (and apparently G-ma has not been abiding by the court ordered visitation - her story is that the kids didn't want to see mom).  She files documentation to get the guardianship revoked.  At the initial hearing, the Court appoints a GAL (an attorney who is to conduct an investigation and make sure what is in the kids' best interest).  That attorney is conducting a routine interview and is shocked when the girls end up telling the attorney that they have been molested....wait for it....by G-ma's new husband!  That attorney immediately calls CPS and now we are in court.

G-ma says to CPS that the girls are troublemakers and she is sure it didn't happen.  Later, when current husband confesses to local law enforcement that he DID molest the girls, she still doesn't act "appropriately."  Even worse, there are other horror stories told by the kids (being locked in the house, scratched when they don't do what they are supposed to, etc.) about life in G-ma's household.

My job...if G-ma wants to work the CPS caseplan to get the grandkids back, I have to help her.  This is one of those many times that I will do my best and hope to heck that the other attorneys are better than me....:(

WTF!!!!!

  Ok, I have always had a problem with child abuse (both physical and sexual!).  Ever since my prosecutor days....not that anyone would or could condone child abuse but I'm not sure that everyone "gets" abuse.   I think that everyone understands physical abuse.  Bruises are bad!  However, psychological or emotional abuse is much different!  Not because it is condoned or accepted but because it is much harder to prove....  How do you prove that a child has been "psychologically damaged or abused when there are 'no marks'?  It is a sad fact that today's children are being abused without even being touched...or because they aren't being touched!  Children need to be hugged and touched (appropriately) to let them know that they are loved and cared for.  Of course, that doesn't even acknowledge those children who are 'being touched' "inappropriately" and are being taught that those touches ARE appropriate!  Those girls who are "awakened" prematurely and have no idea what an appropriate loving gesture is!

So, what does that have to do with the cases at hand??  Well, we have two cases which involve abuse.  One where the abuse is physical and the mother doesn't have anything to say about it because, as I predict....she is abused herself and has NO clue about what appropriate behavior is like.  Ok, so I don't like the a*#!% hole who is her boyfriend...I still think, based on her behavior, that she is abused herself.

Second case involves a guardian who is the grandma.  G-ma is guardian for her grandkids whom CPS took away from their mom for drug abuse.  However, as the wheel turns, G-ma had CPS get involved because her boyfriend / husband sexually abused her (G-ma's) daughter.   Now, as the wheel turns again, G-ma's new husband has sexually abused the granddaughters.   What does that say?  1) Sexual abuse is generational; and 2) one "in denial", "always in denial".  

OMFG!!  I hate to revert to my child sexual/physical abuse prosecutor days and say "no one should have kids until they pass a test" but...."no one should have kids or take care of kids until they pass a test" because otherwise, we are just passing on the "screwed up mentality"!

"Just saying"......

Public Lawyers....much maligned but VERY good at what they do!

Everyone's idea of a "public lawyer"

  So, I was appointed to a case where I was supposed to represent a father.  I try to call him and I get no answer.  Finally, he answers the phone and after I explain that I have been appointed to represent him, he informs me that he doesn't want any "public defender" because 'everyone' knows that they don't do anything and aren't worth anything...although he DID put those sentiments far more colorfully than I just did.  He then demands that I tell him where his daughter is and he wants everything explained to him.  This from the man who has 1) already told me that I can't find my behind with both hands; and 2) that he is going to fire me.  Geez, I love my job.  I do proceed to explain the process to him and we agree to meet the morning of the hearing. 


The morning arrives and he walks in wearing a very nice (and expensive) pair of pants (black), a silk shirt (black pin-striped), and a black silk tie.  Mind, I have now received the court report and have found out that this "pillar of the community" has felony convictions for "Drive By Shooting" and is currently being investigated for "Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon" so I guess that he might have 'some' idea of the criminal justice system.  Anyway, he reaffirms that he is going to "fire me" and that he wants me to get "this" continued because he just doesn't feel comfortable going forward without a lawyer 'he can trust'.  I spend the next hour or so representing him so that the hearing (his part of it) is continued AND I find him a lawyer to hire (boy, the things I do for my friends - losing $250/hr vs. representing a 'winning' client....hmmm, tough choice).

The things I do in this job!  What I can say is that the majority of the public lawyers that I have met (and I mean public defenders and legal defenders) have been hardworking, knowledgeable, and determined to represent their clients to the upmost of their ability which is usually considerable!  Of course, there are those who played dirty, didn't have a clue what they were doing, and the like but most of those had gone into private practice.  The majority of the PDs and LDs were VERY good at what they did!

A good glass of Cabernet to those....

This time I'm telling the truth...I promise!!

From the Delinquency side.....

Kids in detention will say and do anything to get out of detention.  This is a known fact.  There are those who are good at acting, those who are good at complying with the rules and those who simply benefit from the rules that say that kids can only be detained in detention (juvi jail) for certain offenses or certain factors that require them to be held.   I represent a kid who is neither good at acting nor complying with the rules but has repeatedly benefitted from the rules that say that kids can't be held in detention simply because Child Protective Services (CPS) has no place to put him.  I have successfully petitioned to have him released on at least three separate occasions and each time, he has told me and the judge that he will not run away and that even if things get really bad for him, he will manage to get the police to arrest him and bring him to his court appearances so that he won't miss them.  Yes, he really did say that.  Anyway, I manage to get him released...again...right before I go on vacation.  Guess what....two days after I leave, I get an email (yes, sadly, I can get my work emails even when I go on vacation...smart phones enable one to "never leave work behind") saying that he has been arrested again.  Well, you can imagine that this time, NO ONE was convinced to release him because he has now run away from whatever placement four or more times.  Now, he gets to sit in detention until his next hearing and I bet that when I talk to him, his first words will be "Get me out and I promise I won't run away". 

Any guesses about my response?  "Son, I'm good but even I can't work that kind of miracle".....:)